Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
