we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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