flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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