he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
