He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
