Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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