I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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