she was so not down for the gang bang
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
