Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Randomize
