i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
