I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Your penis caused this!
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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