I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
