Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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