On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
