you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Randomize
