Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
