$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
