Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
