You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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