I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
