too bad you live with your parents still
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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