If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Randomize
