I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I'm always down for nudity.
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