It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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