you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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