i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
