CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize