I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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