I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
