My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
