She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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