how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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