so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
