I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
