Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
