He is such a slut. More and more my type.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
