I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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