just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize