$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
