wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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