whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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