I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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