after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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