oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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