So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize