She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
