he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
