...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
