He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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