dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
