why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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