so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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