We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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