do herpes really smell.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Sorry my hands just texted you
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
