She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
